Effective Communication Requires Connection
When the theme of communication emerges in coaching conversations with my clients, it is not uncommon for there to be an air of frustration. "How is it that they don't get it or understand the importance? What more can I do to get through to them?" You put a lot of pressure on yourself because when the message is not getting through the work may not be getting done, done well enough, or you aren't getting the resources needed.
When you look at it, what you have control over is at best half. I say half at best because due to things like varying levels of self-awareness and unconscious bias, even the most effective communicators only have so much capacity. Taking a look at the sketch below, first you find that there’s a lot going on in your head – some that we are aware of and some not. Then we must choose how to communicate what is (thought to be) most important verbally and non-verbally because though downloading is not yet available.
From there, you’ve done all you can for the moment and it’s the audiences turn to use their five senses to collect the data, and then they must make sense of that based on what they know. As you follow that communication funnel, you can see how the control you have over what you want to communicate and how it is received diminishes. When you set an expectation that sending information one time in one direction will accomplish the mission, that may be a very high bar.
Effective communication requires connection and connection is not a one-way street. It is likely that it will take multiple trips back and forth along this communication “funnel” in order to dial in the message. And it isn’t about repeating what you’ve said over and over again. Listening, asking questions, and adapting are essential to achieving the desired result.
Connection requires conversation if you're saying "I don't have time for that all the time," I will challenge you to reflect on where you have been the most successful and how is your current communication model working? You did choose to read this blog for a reason…
If you drop the sterility of "communication" and set out with a goal of connection or having a conversation, how does that change your approach? How do you physically feel different thinking about having a conversation versus communicating?
Give it some thought. Play with putting it into action and see what changes for you.
